I have my first set of midterms next week, but the warm nights feel too summery for me to feel concerned. How radically different from Queen's where I feel guilty if I take a long walk without a book at my side! Last night, despite the pending assessments, I left my books (or rather my photo-copied pages) behind and walked with Eliza, Viviana, and Mikael to Alice and John's apartment to visit and eat fruit salad, mango ice cream, and an amazing banana caramel Indian dessert.
I learned some salsa steps again and practiced a little bit of swing-dancing, which reminded me of how much I love to be spun around by a partner. Upon returning home, after a late night, pre-bedtime chat with Viviana and our joint desperate wish to have a flying dream, we switched of the light contentedly resting our heavy heads on the pillow. In the morning, we sipped hot lemon water before preparing oatmeal, granola fruit salad, and Eliza's special cinnamon and clove coffee. I spent the morning sitting by my open window reading and occasionally smiling up at Viviana.
I am studying for an Alternative literature exam. It is fascinating to learn about Queer Theory and see the radical ways in which it can be reflected in Indian literature, Bollywood (reading the mainstream against the grain), 'culture,' and most radically applied to Indian life through lifestyle choices that destabilize normativity. I especially like an story/introduction in a book by Jonathan Dollimore called "The Encounter," if any of you are looking for a really interesting, thought-provoking read. Our professor has told us that most gay men marry and have children in India, and I can imagine the societal pressure to marry would be terribly difficult to resist. It is one's "duty." Thus, it is not so much seen as a 'sin' in India to be homosexual, as it can be in the Christian West which he calls "guilt culture," as it is a choice that if made into a lifestyle 'shames' the family who see it as a shirking of duty. Thus, he believes that homophobia cannot really apply to a place like India where sexuality, as expressed in the Kama Sutra and Khajuraho sculptures, was seen not as fixed or essential, but as plural and uninhibited. But, I am using the blog to study now and losing track of my day...back to the diary format. For lunch we went for a tomato and onion uttapa at Vaishali's with fried coconut sweets for dessert and around seven we took a rickshaw in the orange evening light to a very strange music and light show outside Shaniwarwada fort. The musician had on a kind of robotic-looking contraption that he referred to as a mouse and a group of students behind him swayed and were contributing in some way to the show through handheld devices (none of us could really figure it out). When I tried to feel the colours as they passed across the old fort wall I alternated between entrancement and dizzy confusion as to what in the world was going on. It is fun to go to events and never have any idea of what to expect.
Mikael gave me a ride back to Bhandarkar road on the back of his motorbike. I felt like laughing all the way home. I love how, as a passenger, I can look around and just enjoy, feeling the warm wind, under the nearly full moon, no need to worry about anything at all. The moon will be full tomorrow. John told us a story about one of the Buddha's past lives as a rabbit, in which he sacrificed himself to revive a starving mother lion and her cubs so that they could escape a group of hunters. The moon, seeing this self-less compassion decided to take the rabbits image as her own. Now I can no longer see the man in the moon, because the rabbit ears are too prominent to ignore, an interesting shift in perspective. It is amazing to be able to feel such shifts everyday. Here, I continually feel perceptible changes in my perspective. If I didn't feel so well-supported it might be more disconcerting, but I find that most of my sentences are short bursts of "how nice" and "I love" so I think what I mostly feel is excitement. I hope that things keep shifting, because it makes the world feel ancient and new-born all at once, and I have an infinite amount to learn from both such states.
Perhaps we will meet somewhere over the ocean tonight. No harm in dreaming.
Love,
Lina
I am studying for an Alternative literature exam. It is fascinating to learn about Queer Theory and see the radical ways in which it can be reflected in Indian literature, Bollywood (reading the mainstream against the grain), 'culture,' and most radically applied to Indian life through lifestyle choices that destabilize normativity. I especially like an story/introduction in a book by Jonathan Dollimore called "The Encounter," if any of you are looking for a really interesting, thought-provoking read. Our professor has told us that most gay men marry and have children in India, and I can imagine the societal pressure to marry would be terribly difficult to resist. It is one's "duty." Thus, it is not so much seen as a 'sin' in India to be homosexual, as it can be in the Christian West which he calls "guilt culture," as it is a choice that if made into a lifestyle 'shames' the family who see it as a shirking of duty. Thus, he believes that homophobia cannot really apply to a place like India where sexuality, as expressed in the Kama Sutra and Khajuraho sculptures, was seen not as fixed or essential, but as plural and uninhibited. But, I am using the blog to study now and losing track of my day...back to the diary format. For lunch we went for a tomato and onion uttapa at Vaishali's with fried coconut sweets for dessert and around seven we took a rickshaw in the orange evening light to a very strange music and light show outside Shaniwarwada fort. The musician had on a kind of robotic-looking contraption that he referred to as a mouse and a group of students behind him swayed and were contributing in some way to the show through handheld devices (none of us could really figure it out). When I tried to feel the colours as they passed across the old fort wall I alternated between entrancement and dizzy confusion as to what in the world was going on. It is fun to go to events and never have any idea of what to expect.
 |
| Hmm. |
Perhaps we will meet somewhere over the ocean tonight. No harm in dreaming.
Love,
Lina
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